Bentley,
Today you woke up cheerful, talking to the animals in your crib and howling at the puppy outside your door. We sang our "Good Morning" song and then went down stairs for breakfast. I turned on our Baby Channel on TV and you laughed at all the silly colors, shapes, numbers and songs that danced in front of you. Then we got all dressed and hopped in the car to take Roxie to the groomer. After we dropped her off, I grabbed an early lunch and took you home to play some more. While you were playing you kept walking over to me to lay your head down on my lap. After you did this several times, I decided it was time for an early nap. You went right to sleep.
I decided that since I already had lunch to go ahead and grab a power nap. Good thing I did! Little did I know what was in store for our day. You woke up three hours later very fussy. You didn't smile during our wake up song, you didn't want a single bite of your food, and you weren't interested in the television that made you laugh earlier. I tried to feed you a few bites myself but you turned it away after only two tries. So I made you some chocolate milk because I know you would never turn that down. You weren't the least bit interested. I loaded you in the car so we could go pick up our puppy and called your Daddy on the phone to tell him that you weren't feeling well. I wasn't even a mile from the house when I heard you start throwing up in the back seat. I pulled over and jumped out of the car to check on you. You looked so scared because you didn't know what was going on. You have never been sick like this before. This was the beginning of our long afternoon.
You got several baths and I wrapped you in a towel to snuggle in between each of your episodes. You didn't say a word for several hours. You just cuddled me and looked so sad. I have to tell you, that even though my heart was breaking for you, I was enjoying getting to hold you and comfort you all day. After awhile of the same miserable routine, you finally fell asleep in my arms. So I held you and rocked you. When you woke up an hour and a half later, you were my happy, cheerful little boy again!
I will always be heartbroken when you are sick. I will clean you off, snuggle you when you want snuggled, and take care of you for as long as you need it. You are my baby.
I told you several letters ago that you have been so loving and thoughtful when I had been sick all summer. I would run to the bathroom and you would start crying and running after me worried. When I let you know that I was okay, you would bring me toys, dog food, anything you thought that would make me feel better. YOU were what made me feel better each time. You have such a tender heart. I do not want you to worry about Mommy. The reason I have been sick the last few months is because I am pregnant with your little sister! And your loving, caring and protecting personality assure me that not only are you the best son in the world, but you are going to be the best BIG BROTHER anyone has ever seen.
Thank you for having so much compassion in life. In the same way I take care of you, you want to take care of me. It reminds me of a book that I first read when I was a little girl. I never forgot about that book, and even to this day it makes me cry. It is the story of a mother who has a little baby boy. And every night she would rock him back and forth and say, "I'll love you forever. I'll like you for always. As long as I'm living, my baby you'll be." As the little boy grows up, in all the stages of his life, she still says those words to him as he sleeps. Then one day as the mother is old and weak, the little boy, now fully grown, comes over to her house and rocks her to sleep saying, "I'll love you forever. I'll like you for always. As long as I'm living, my Mommy you'll be." It is such a sweet story that reminds me of you and me. No matter what, you will always be my baby.
I love you, sweet boy.
Mommy
